Shit They Don’t Tell You
- Being pregnant sucks, you can hate it and that’s okay. Online you see one Instagram photo after another of baby bumps and women captioning them with an inspirational quote or something about what a miracle it is or how amazing this process is. Don’t get me wrong it is a miracle, the way a body can make a human is an absolute miracle, but it doesn’t mean you have to enjoy it. NOT EVERYONE DOES and you don’t have to feel bad for not enjoying it.
- The changes in your body suck. Your nipples get huge and gross looking. The veins on your boobs look like the freaking map of Narnia. My thighs started touching together when I walked, so I was constantly pulling my shorts or pants from my crotch. My boobs were the size of honeydew melons (Gross). I was sooooo tired. Not all women get the complete exhaustion I experienced, but I was miserable tired (especially the first trimester.) I got almost nothing done in 40 weeks (expect for making a baby) I became a huge crybaby/crazy/emotional wreck. My skin was sensitive and itchy. My hair hurt to brush because apparently I was all of the sudden tender headed.
- The absolute WORST part about all the body changes was my sex drive was ZERO. Contrary from what my husband thought and popular belief not all women are horn dogs when they are pregnant. The few times we did have sex it was because I felt so bad for my husband. I mean, if he was telling me ‘No’ all the time I’d be freaking losing it. Sex is one of the best things about a relationship so you can imagine I was miserable. Luckily, I have the most amazing husband who was always very understanding, supportive, loving and never made me feel bad about not wanting to do it.
- This one was a really hard one for me and for the first month of her life I felt absolutely horrible, but sometimes you don’t immediately fall deeply, madly, my world just stopped, head over heels in love with your child. Now that I am head over heels, deeply, madly, I legit could eat you in love with her I realize that it was okay to feel the way I did. However, I have to admit I was mildly horrified I didn’t have the feelings that so many moms say they have… those, ‘the second I knew I was pregnant my world seemed complete’ or ‘the second I had you everything else didn’t matter’ feelings. Ya… I didn’t get those feelings. I am jealous of the women who do, but after pushing for 3 hours and being in labor for 21 all I wanted to do was sleep. The next five days were a complete blur. A stressful, surreal blur due to the epidural headache and the muscle relaxers I was on. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without my husband.
- You can never really comprehend what going without a full nights sleep for two months in a row can really do to you. You can’t explain it to someone who hasn’t had a kid and they can’t even imagine what its like. I felt like a zombie. A mad, sad, delusional zombie. (No, it wasn’t postpartum it was strictly lack of sleep. I can be a real crazy when I am tired) My husband had to leave for training camp five days after Bradley was born so it was all me getting up every two to three hours a night. I wasn’t looking at my new-born as a little bundle of joy. (All she did was eat and sleep) I was looking at her as the child that requires all of my energy and is completely draining the life out of me. Once she started sleeping 7 hours a night at about two and a half months old everything changed. I was back to being my normal, mostly good mood self and could really enjoy the new life I brought into the world. (Thank God and special shout out for my mom who would take her one or two nights a week and let me sleep for a good 12 hours and my dad who would watch her while I napped or got errands done.) It really is crazy how your priorities and wants in life change once you have a baby. Sleep is 20x more important and wanted than going out for a night on the town.
- Breastfeeding sucks. I hated it. I did it for a few days and then quit. It made me feel like an animal… like a cow at the local 4H show. So many people look at me like I’m a freaking crazy person when I say I think breastfeeding is gross. And I get a lot of people who get weirdly offended when I say I don’t like it. (Like why the fuck would anyone get offended because I don’t like breastfeeding?) Do all moms clean their nipples before they let their little one suck away? My boobs sweat, a lot. So that could be unsanitary. It’s okay if you don’t want to breastfeed and don’t like it. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT! No matter what the doctors, nurses or mom shamers say. I can’t even get started on this “free the nipple” shit I’m seeing everywhere or the people who get mad at me because I don’t want to see boobs flopped out in public… It’s weird… You don’t see dicks flopped out with the heads covered like it is okay. You wanna breastfeed? Go for it! I’m not gonna get mad at you for doing it, so don’t get snippy with me for not doing. It’s a personal choice… It’s cheaper to breastfeed so that’s great. (I’ll get to breastfeeding in another post. There is just too much to talk about)
- Side note: Do your research on formula. Doctors never tell you about what is good in formula and what isn’t, doctors don’t inform you on anything about bottle feeding which is bullshit. I didn’t even realize I was suppose to boil the water before feeding it to her. No one told me and I was clueless about all things baby. I had to do hours of research about getting the best formula. America doesn’t have much to choose from, but Europe is stocked with healthy, good for your baby formula. (Stay tuned for more info in another blog)
I want to make it clear that Bradley is the most amazing little girl. Half the day I wander around amazed that I could make the cutest little girl in the world. She is a complete blessing and coolest thing I have ever made…. and I make a lot of cool stuff.