On one hand she was feeding her baby, on the other hand she had both boobs completely out and only one of them being used.
(IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT THROWING A SHIT FIT AND GETTING ALL MOMMY CRAZY… READ THE ENTIRE STORY FIRST.)
Let me first set the scene up…. It’s Saturday at 5:30pm in a country where the grocery stores are closed on Sundays. It’s a packed madhouse with lines ten people deep at each of the four checkout lanes. Here I stand with my husband and baby waiting to buy our mass amount of groceries. Our daughter is smiling and waving at the baby in front of us.
Here comes the questionable part… The baby in front of us is a little fussy so her mom sits down on a case of beer and whips her boob out in front of us and the ten people behind us. Let me be clear, feeding her baby in public was absolutely not the problem or the point of this story. (I hate hearing babies cry so anything to stop it I was okay with.) The action in question comes when the baby didn’t want to milk her from the one teat she whipped the other one out and then sat there with both boobs hanging out… nipples and everything… for WAY more than just a few seconds.
Breastfeeding is one thing, exposing yourself to a group of people in a grocery store that aren’t paying to see and don’t want to see it is something else entirely. (I’m sure the three 14-year-old boys behind us where loving the free show.)
What is appropriate and what isn’t will never be something everyone agrees on. In some villages in Africa (and many places) women don’t wear shirts, much less bras, so having both breast out to feed isn’t inappropriate in the slightest. But in a culture where modesty is appreciated and exposing yourself in public can land you in jail the line between what is appropriate and what isn’t is a tough one to draw. On one hand this lady was feeding her child, on the other hand she had both boobs out for an extended amount of time and only one was being used to feed the child.
Should it be okay for women to breastfeed in public? Sure, just because I wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean shit. But should a woman have both boobs out (nipples out, too) while sitting in the grocery line?
These kinds of actions are what makes such controversy in the breastfeeding in public area.
(There are so many women and men that use the “look away if you don’t like it” ,but what are people suppose to do in this situation? Walk through the check out line backwards? )
What are your opinions or thoughts?
Intelligent comments are always welcome!
Let’s face it… after you have a kid vacations are just not the same. For the better or for the worse taking a kid on vacation changes the entire trip from the get go.
The car ride to a destination and the actual vacation with a young child can be a relaxing, refreshing experience or it can be an aggravating, stressful blur. The best way to ensure a smooth, enjoyable car ride and vacation is to be prepared, cross your fingers, and hope for a pleasant child that will chill and let you enjoy yourself.
We recently made the 5-hour drive to Switzerland for a quick vacation. It was a last-minute trip with one night to pack everything we would need for a three-day stay and a combined ten hours of driving with a 14-month-old and a dog. I didn’t have my usual 3 to 4 days to start preparing everything so I was more stressed than usual. This isn’t our first rodeo though and with some experience I have learned some of the best ways to have the most enjoyable, relaxing trip you can have with a young child.
Tips For Taking a Car Trip and Vacation With a Small Child
Try to start getting ready a couple of days before the trip with lists…then use the lists.
Using lists helps to ensure nothing will be forgotten. (An added plus to having a list is getting to check stuff off the list.) What toys or stuffed animal does your baby need? What food and snacks will she need? Bottle cleaner… dish soap….. Put it all on the list and it hopefully won’t be forgotten.
Organize the car so anything you need is easy to access.
Food pouches, snacks, and baby toys should be easily reached. Having them behind the driver’s seat makes it easy for the passenger to reach without having to unbuckle the seatbelt and hear that annoying f-ing beeping sound that can really drive someone crazy. The beeping on top of struggling to get a food pouch from a weird part of the car, personally, makes me snap and that is unenjoyable for everyone.
Pack a small cooler with milk of choice.
Since I’m not a fan of breastfeeding and think breastfeeding a kid over the age of one is just freaking weird my 14-month-old is drinking organic cow milk. I’ve done a lot of research on the milk I feed my daughter and ensure that the cow or cows it comes from haven’t been pumped full of hormones and antibiotics. I like to pack my own milk to be safe. I’m also not risking a change in milk upsetting her stomach causing her not to sleep and causing me to be tired, grumpy and an all around bitch.
Bring a Pack n’ Play and if there isn’t room for a Pack n’ Play bring a sheet and blankets.
Hotels often charge for the use of their Pack n’ Play, so save some money and bring one from home. I’m super uncomfortable with the thought of how many toddlers and babies have pissed or thrown up on the hotel’s Pack n’ Play and how well it got disinfected. Can’t bring your own? Sheets from home are easy to pack, take up a small amount of room, and are clean…usually.
Bring a small fan or sound machine.
One of the worst parts about vacationing with a toddler is having to be super quite at bedtime. Unless you get two hotel rooms you’re gonna be stuck with a sleeping baby and having to tiptoe around the room at 8pm. Any background noise, like a fan or sound machine, might help her sleep and you to be able to watch some TV or do other fun adult activities… quietly.
I’m not one of those ‘no screen time’ moms, but even if you are for the sake of your trip bring an iPad with kid games and shows. Throw Baby Einstein (or another educational show) on, give your kid a Ritz Cracker and maybe you’ll have enough time to enjoy a long lunch and a few glasses of wine. It’s vacation… you NEED it.
The one positive to a car trip is that you aren’t charged for how many bags you have. One bag or five bags it doesn’t make a difference. When you are going to a country like Switzerland where everything is WAY overpriced it’s nice to not have to go buy diapers that cost 2-3 times more than they do in Germany or America.
Also, weather is pretty unpredictable so pack for the cold, pack for the warm, make sure you won’t be stuck unprepared for what nature can throw at you. Pack anything you might need… bags are free!
In the end, don’t over stress about all the shit you need to pack and what might be forgotten, most places you visit have a place to buy what you need.
It’s vacation. Have some wine and chill as much as your crazy baby will let you.
A few reasons why I don’t waste money buying my toddler new clothes, but instead buy secondhand…
- She couldn’t give two shits about how she looks or what she wears.
- She’s messy.
- She’s dirty.
- She’s constantly touching and rubbing gross stuff on herself.
- She grows fast.
thredUP! Online Consignment and Thrift Shop
I am not embarrassed to admit that I buy a lot of clothes from Goodwill, Savers, and Kohl’s clearance section. (Why spend more money then you have to?) Always looking for a good deal led me to this amazing new online secondhand store called thredUP!
thredUP! is The Largest Online Consignment and Thrift Shop. Since shopping with a toddler freaking sucks, an online thrift shop I was a godsend.
I was a little weary at first, but after ordering from them once my fears were gone. All the clothes were in great shape, pretty true to size, and looked awesome! Even better you get 40% off your first order and free shipping on all orders over $79! Another great perk of the site (Because I love buying myself clothes more than buying my one-year-old clothes) there’s an adult section!
Not interested in buying secondhand, but have a closet full of old baby clothes? You can also sell to thredUP! Why not make a little cash for that next ridiculously expensive baby outfit?
FIND THRIFT SHOPS IN YOUR AREA
Goodwill stores have a great selection of baby, toddler, and young children clothes.
Savers has a great selection of clothing if you are lucky enough to have one in your area. My personal favorite.
The website thriftstore.net is an amazing way to find ALL the thrift stores and secondhand shops in your area!
There is this crazy new idea going around that parents shouldn’t tell their little girl she is pretty. It’s a ridiculous one.
It’s like some bored asshole with a couple master’s and a doctorate was just looking for some attention and money and needed to come up with something to bitch at parents about and thought, “What is something a lot of parents do or say that I can bullshit enough reasons up that they will in turn feel bad about their actions, even if they were doing it with best intentions?” The answer to this thought, “Telling your little girl she is pretty.”
1 Reason Parents Should Always Tell Their Daughter She Is Pretty
1. They truly believe she is. Every little girl is pretty and they need to know it!(Soon enough this world will be telling her differently.)
- The world can be a mean place, young girls and boys can be vicious (I know first hand) and the teasing usually comes in the form of making fun of appearance. Whether these kids are jealous or just assholes they will usually attack the way someone looks first. (Adults do it, too.)
- Every little girl and boy needs to know that their individual look is pretty. Tell them they are pretty so no one can convince them otherwise.
- These experts seem to assume because a parent is telling their daughter she is pretty that they can not also be telling her she is strong, smart, and independent. You can tell her she is pretty in the same sentence that you tell her she is a boss! (not bossy, but a boss: a person that runs the show)
- We will never live in a world that isn’t obsessed with looks. So maybe this idea would work in another universe, but here on earth people are visual and drawn to certain looks. (FUN FACT: While this really has nothing to do with telling your daughter she is pretty or not… it’s proven men and women are instinctually drawn to certain physical attributes. History is loaded with stories of powerful men attracted to beautiful women. The Trojan War was fought over a beautiful woman. Henry VIII broke from the Catholic Church to be with a beautiful woman. Benedict Arnold reached out to the British and offered to be a spy and betray his colonial cause after one month of marriage to his beautiful, English loyalist wife, Peggy. Coincidence? Throughout history beautiful women have made men do crazy things. #hailtotheV )
3 Reasons Experts Say You Shouldn’t Tell Your Daughter She Is Pretty
And why they may be wrong
It may seem obvious, but is easily forgotten, that teaching girls that appearance is the first thing we notice about them gives them the powerful message that looks are their most important quality.
Appearance actually is the first thing you notice about someone, before you can shake a hand and notice a firm grip or make small talk and realize how funny someone is, you notice their appearance. If I go in for a job interview dressed in my PJ’s chances are, based on my appearance, I won’t even be allowed into the interview (I’m not Mark Zuckerberg after all ) You don’t have to be the prettiest person in the room, but you do have to make an effort in the looks department.
Shallow praise linked to looks can have a negative effect on a girl’s ability to deal with adversity. These off-the-cuff remarks can imply that looks, goodness, talent and even intelligence are things you either have or don’t have.
Seriously? How can telling a girl she is pretty even start to imply that talent is something she either has or doesn’t have? How long did this asshole have to sit and think about a way to relate the two?
I remember constantly being told as a kid to work hard for something that I wanted to achieve. If I wanted to be talented at something I had to work hard. (Fact of the matter is though, in some cases people either have a talent or not, but that is not related to telling a girl she is pretty and it doesn’t mean she can’t work hard and get better at a talent.)
Again, I will tell my daughter she is pretty, just like I will tell her the more she studies the better her grades will be, just like I will tell her the more she practices the better her talent will be.
Telling someone they look nice or pretty is not shallow praise and is not something to feel guilty for doing. As much as those experts want to not put an emphasis on looks, when someone feels they look good, they feel better about themselves. It is just life. A woman can be pretty (and know she is pretty) and also be strong, independent and successful.
These innocent comments to a daughter can make her think her self-esteem is linked to certain traits or attributes. She may grow up valuing being pretty more than being strong and independent
Even if a little girl isn’t the standard definition of pretty why shouldn’t she know that her individual look is a blessing and that it is beautiful. Let her know that beauty can be both on the outside and the inside and each individual is pretty in their own unique way.
In today’s image obsessed world girls will be bombarded with picture perfect “pretty” women everyday, unless the home is without a TV, computer, even a newspaper a little girl won’t be able to avoid the pictures. Avoiding telling a little girl she is pretty won’t prevent a problem, it will create a problem. If a person hears something enough times they will start to believe it. Should beauty be related to self-confidence? No, but with almost all people it is.
So if a little girl hears other mothers and fathers telling their daughters they are pretty, smart, and strong and that little girl never hears she is pretty from her own parents will she think, “Oh well, looks don’t matter.” or will she think, “Mom and Dad never tell me that. Am I not pretty?” I can’t be for sure, but it’s not something I want my daughter to question. There is no need to give your daughter a complex. I mean, even men like to be told they are handsome.
I grew up with my brother and my male cousins being my best friends. I wanted to be a boy and be treated like the boys and I feel I was for the most part. (I even tried to pee standing up. It was a major fail and I got yelled at for making a mess, but I was dedicated to the cause.) I didn’t want to be that pretty little girl and wasn’t made to think looks were the most important thing, but that didn’t matter. When I went through an ugly duckling stage and got made fun of for my crooked teeth or lack of boobs (both changed drastically, thank goodness) it hurt.
So whether a parent decides to tell their little girl she is pretty or choose not to, eventually her self-esteem will be affected due to her looks. It is inevitable and a shame, but it’s life. There is absolutely no problem building a little girls self-esteem by telling them they are pretty, just make sure that it’s also added that they are strong, that their abilities are limitless and that they can do absolutely anything they put their minds too.
There is a ton of shit that experts insist you “need” when you have a baby. From wipe warmers to glass bottles, the list goes on and on… some of it’s needed, some of it’s a complete waste of money. I received this Grass Drying Rack at a baby shower and thought it was a bit of an eyesore, but turns out it’s amazing!
- I don’t know why bottles dry so much quicker on the grass than any other drying mechanism, but they do!
- The flexible grass blades make for the perfect wine glass dryer, too. The blades provide more stability than just sitting it on the counter top.
- It also comes with different accessories that help with drying. They aren’t absolutely needed, but do help with the small parts of a bottle.
- The grass comes in a few shapes and sizes and is easy to clean.
Features and Details boon grass countertop drying rack
- Low-profile drying rack looks great in any kitchen
- Perfect for drying items of all shapes and sizes
- Easily holds items upright for drying while excess water collects in bottom tray
- Two-piece, easy-to-clean design
- BPA-free, Phthalate-free and PVC-free