Epidural? Epiduhhh? Of Course!

How Do You Plan On Giving Birth?

It’s a weird question…  I had an abnormal amount of  people ask me how I wanted to give birth. I could have gotten real graphic and made things awkward, but I would just answer, “C-section”. You should have seen the disgust and worry on people’s faces. The face would twist with this strong desire to tell me why I didn’t want one. So before anyone could tell me how terrible they were I would  go on to say,  “My doctor won’t let me schedule one, so I guess the only other option is to epidural and push it out the hard way.” The most noteworthy reactions come from those natural birth women. Always telling me I should consider natural birth and natural alternatives. (HA.)Telling me my body was made for birthing children (HA.)and then go on to tell me their story. Throughout the entire story I’m thinking… this woman is out of her mind! Having a natural birth is completely admirable and after having contractions for four hours  (at just three centimeters) and wanting to die while begging the nurses for an epidural… I have even more respect for anyone that voluntarily goes through that amount of pain.

German Baby Doctor vs. American Baby Doctor

When I first went to my German Baby Doctor he said, “If your baby doesn’t abort itself, then how would you like to give birth?” (Yes, he used the term ‘abort itself’ a lot.) I said, “C-section” and he was totally okay with it. So I assumed when I got back to the states my American Baby Doctor would be cool with a scheduled C-section… He wasn’t. For me, personally, why wouldn’t I want to go in at a scheduled time, not have to go through contractions, and come out with a baby? (I know there is way more to it then that… I’m not stupid or uneducated.. I did all the research, knew all the risk and read all the stories.) I’ve never been one that needed to experience childbirth. With the C-section out of the question, I knew an epidural was the next best option.

No amount of negative research could have changed my mind about getting an epidural. (Being an educated woman I know research can be skewed any direction the researcher wants it to be. Women need to make their own educated decisions.)  It may be a recent development in the history of child-birth, but if it’s available why the hell wouldn’t you?  Women dying in child-birth back in the day probably wouldn’t have turned down the help of science because “there body was made for giving birth”.

Natural Birth Women

I remember on my baby moon there was a couple of women that swore by natural birth because it was so rewarding and worth the pain. (I knew having a baby in any manner would be rewarding.) They talked about a process called The Bradley Method. I only remember it because it was my daughter’s soon-to-be name. I like to know fun facts for rainy days so I checked it out. What it does is teaches natural childbirth and views birth as a natural process.

“It is our belief that most women with proper education, preparation, and the help of a loving and supportive coach can be taught to give birth naturally.”

Taught? If giving birth was natural to a woman why would we need to be taught how to do it? Women giving birth naturally are doing it because they think it is best for their little one and that is completely admiral and pretty amazing, but besides being amazingly tough women they are also, clearly, gluttons for punishment.

The Option to use Science

Motherhood is amazing and rewarding and all that… giving birth was painful, hard and exhausting. Turning down my option to use science to make the process easier by purposely skipping the epidural to have a natural birth wasn’t one of the amazing and rewarding experiences I was going to go through. I can’t imagine feeling excruciating pain would make it more rewarding than it was, but it would make it more miserable. Maybe my body just wasn’t made for natural birth.
Side Note: The Headache
I did have an epidural headache after giving birth. It sucked.  When the Anesthesiologist came in to ask me if I had a headache I was in denial because I didn’t want to be stuck with anymore needles so I said, “No”. That was a mistake. While the headache was nowhere near the pain of contractions, it was debilitating for a few days.  I’ll still opt for the epidural for any future pregnancy, but next time I will get the spinal patch the next day and save myself from a few days of pain, a trip back to the hospital, and a $250 ER bill.